


No Ordinary Love

by AlexDanversHasMyHeart



Series: Kara/Alex Soulmates In Any Universe [1]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Adult Content, Alex does eventually work for the DEO, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Idiots in Love, Kara is Kryptonian, Original Character(s), Possibly Unrequited Love, Pseudo-Incest, Strong Language, but does not become Supergirl, kara and alex being idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-06
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-10-28 19:07:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10837542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexDanversHasMyHeart/pseuds/AlexDanversHasMyHeart
Summary: A series of one-shots that explore Kara and Alex's relationship from when Kara first arrive until they are older.





	1. Girlfriend

**Author's Note:**

> Soo...I've been working on some one-shots for Kalex and they were sitting in a folder. I decided to post them in between updating my other stories. I am a busy little somebody but I always finish the stories that I write. The one shots are connected and tell a story along the way. I hope you enjoy it. And each title is named after a song that I listened to while I wrote it.
> 
> The title comes from the Sade song No Ordinary Love.

_Hey! Hey! You! You!_

_I don't like your girlfriend!_

_No way! No way!_

_I think you need a new one_

_Hey! Hey! You! You!_

_I could be your girlfriend_

_Hey! Hey! You! You!_

_I know that you like me_

_No way! No way!_

_You know it's not a secret_

_Hey! Hey! You! You!_

_I want to be your girlfriend_

_Girlfriend~Avril Lavigne_

Kara was sixteen years old when she fell in love for the first time. It wasn’t instantaneous like most movies would have her believe, but it was a slow building, until one day it hit her in the face. She didn’t fall in love with her best friend, or a celebrity, she fell in love with her older foster sister, Alex Danvers. It wasn’t something that she expected, considering the fact, that they were at each other’s throats most of the time, but Alex still protected her like Eliza had told her to. To Kara, Alex was her everything, the most important person in her life, but to Alex, Kara was just an annoying little sister that she had to protect. It hurt Kara’s feelings at first, but Eliza explained to her, that it’s normal for siblings to dislike their younger siblings. Kara didn’t question it, but she went along with it. It wasn’t until recently that they were able to get along, Kara chalked it up to Alex leaving for college soon.

This disappointed her to no end, her sister is going to Stanford, leaving Kara behind. Her heart was breaking at this, but she knew she had to put on a brave face for the sake of her sister. Kara found herself in her room, while her sister was having her graduation party. She was there for the family portion but Alex didn’t want her there when her friends came over to celebrate. So this is why Kara is in her room listening to N*Sync and looking at the stars. Kara could hear Alex and her friends laughing and listening to music in the distance. It was times like this, that she wished she could fly away and find solitude away from all of the noise, and her intrusive thoughts.

“Oh, Rao. I wish I didn’t feel this way. I wish I could shut these feelings off. Alex is my sister and what I am feeling for her is so wrong. I know she doesn’t feel the same because I am her sister, but sometimes I wish she could see me as more than that.” Kara whispered to the Kryptonian deity.

Kara didn’t know how long she was lost in thought until she heard a knock on the door. She used her x-ray vision to see who it was. Kara smiled when she saw it was, Alex her graduation party must’ve been over.

“Come in, Alex,” Kara called towards the door while shutting off her music.

The door opened and Alex peeked her head through, “I wanted to come in and check on you. I haven’t seen you all night.” She walked into the room closing the door behind her.

Kara looked down at her hands, “You told me that you didn’t want me around you and your friends. I’m too young to be around you, isn’t that what you said?” She asked.

Alex sighed, “I know what I said, Kara but I was kind of hoping that you would defy that, and come downstairs.”

“I thought it was time that I respect your wishes. You’ll be going off to college soon and I have to get used to you not being around, as much, or not at all.” Kara mumbled more to herself.

Alex sat down on Kara’s bed, “Come and sit with me for a moment, please.” There was a small plea in her voice.

The Kryptonian moved away from the window and sat down on the bed, her stomach had what people would call butterflies. She looked at Alex and took in her facial features and her eyes, they held a softness there, that she has only seen once or twice.

“I’m here. What do you want to talk about?”

Alex shifted so she was facing Kara, “I know that my going to college is going to change things with us, but I will always be here for you, when I can. Believe it or not, I’m going to miss having you around. No one can annoy me as much as you can, but I will stay in contact with you, as much as I can. I don’t want you to be afraid, you’ve come a long way from the first time you came to earth.” She moved a stray piece of hair from out of Kara’s face, “I resented you for a long time, but then, you grew on me.”

Kara laughed, “Like a fungus?”

Alex shook her head, “No, not like a fungus. I love you, Kara and I always will.”

A smile bloomed across Kara’s face, “I love you too, Alex.” It wasn’t the same way that she loved, Alex, but it was good enough.

There was a small pause in the conversation and Kara’s breath hitched in her throat as Alex brought her face close to hers. This had to be a dream because she had thought about this moment for a long time.

“I may never get the chance to do this again, but I am going to take my chance with this now. Can I kiss you?” Alex asked shyly.

Not trusting her words Kara just nodded her consent. A split second later she felt Alex’s lips on hers, they were as soft as she imagined they would be. This was her very first kiss, a kiss that she was going to remember for a long time. It was slow and sensual at best, but it was causing Kara to feel tingly in her pelvic area. The kiss ended as quickly as it began leaving the both of them breathless. Alex rested her forehead against Kara’s as she tried to catch her breath.

“That was amazing, Alex.” Kara complimented her.

Alex blushed, “You never kissed anyone before?”

Kara shook her head, “No, you were my first and only kiss.” She admitted quietly.

“I’m glad that I was the one to give you your first kiss. There are times where I found myself thinking, that I could be your first everything.” Alex whispered as if she was confessing a sin.

Kara couldn’t believe what she was hearing, Alex her sister, wanted to be her first everything but what exactly did it mean? Sure she’s heard of first kiss, first love, and all the other firsts, this on the other hand served to confuse her more.

“What do you mean, Alex?” Kara asked confusedly.

Alex started playing in Kara’s hair, “I mean…I wanted to be your first kiss, I wanted to be your first sexual experience, and I wanted to be the first person who captured your heart. Call me selfish, but I consider you to be mine.”

Kara moved back a little bit, she couldn’t believe what she was hearing, Alex wanted to be with her like that. “You mean; you love me like that?”

Alex laughed, “I do love you like that, Kara. I’ve loved you like that the first day that Clark brought you to us.”

Kara crinkled her forehead, “What do you mean? You hated me when I first got here.”

Alex shook her head, “No I didn’t. I had to hide how I really felt, mom and dad told me that you were my sister, and I had to look out for you. I hated it because, you didn’t feel like a sister to me, you were something more. My feelings scared me and I pushed them down because all I heard mom saying was, ‘she’s your sister, you have to protect her’.”

Kara could not believe what she was hearing, Alex was confessing her feelings for her, she felt the same way that she had felt. Her heart was soaring and the butterflies in her stomach intensified.

Kara knew it was turn to confess her feelings, “I only realized that I’ve been in love with you, but I am not sure if it’s been as long as you have been in love with me. You treated me pretty badly so, I really couldn’t tell. I’ve dreamt about you, what it would be like to kiss you, and for you to tell me how much you loved me.”

“This is reality Kara and I am sorry that I was so mean to you, and I am sorry for the way that I treated you, when you first go here. I know it sucks that it takes me going away to college to tell you the truth.” Alex tried to make light of the moment.

Kara shrugged, “It’s better late than never, I guess. I’m glad that you feel the same, but where do we go from here? You’ll be leaving in two weeks for college, then what?”

It was Alex’s turn to shrug, “Then we will keep in contact with each other, and I can come home on the holidays too. You can come and visit me at college for the week-end. I will make time for you whenever I can.”

Kara felt hopeful, “I don’t think Eliza would let me come and visit you. I wouldn’t want to crowd you; you are at college to get away from here. You can come and visit though, I think that would be better.”

Alex bit her lip, “I think you’re right. You’ll have your college experience soon enough.”

“That’s still two years off, but I can’t wait though.” It was the truth, Kara wanted to have the full college experience as well.

A silence fell over the room as Kara tried to process everything that had been discussed tonight. Alex loved her the same way she loved Alex. All she wanted to do was kiss Alex again, but she had to control herself, the last thing she wanted was to be over eager. They spent the rest of the night talking and making plans to see each other while Alex was away at school. They talked until neither one of them could keep their eyes opened. It was the happiest that Kara has ever been, since landing on earth.

***

It had been almost two years since Alex had come home to visit. She’s been busy with school and having a social life, but she finally found time to come home for Kara’s high school graduation. Alex wasn’t by herself though, she brought her girlfriend Laurel, much to Kara’s dismay. Kara decided to play nice it’s been a while since Alex brought anyone home. Kara was in her room putting on her graduation gown, when there was a knock at the door.

“Come in.” She called out.

The door opened and in walked Alex in a pair of black dress slacks, and a white shirt, “I wanted to see if you needed help getting ready.”

Kara’s eyes met Alex’s through the mirror, “Thanks, but I don’t need any help. I’m good to go, I need to grab my cap and then we can go. I need to get there early; you know how they are.”

Alex cleared her throat, “Of course, I know. I am proud of you; Kara you have come a long way from being that lost girl from Krypton.”

Kara blushed, “Yeah, it seemed like so long ago.”

“Kara are you ready to go? We have to get you to the auditorium before it gets too late.” Eliza called up the stairs.

Kara grabbed her cap, “I’ll be down in a minute, I need to grab my cap.” She put her cap on and turned to face Alex, “How do I look?”

Alex smiled softly, “You look beautiful, Kara. Now you need to go, Laurel and I will be there shortly.”

Kara kissed Alex’s cheek, “Thank you, Alex. I’ll see you later.” She exited the room and her smile faded. It was so much easier to pretend that she was happy then to show how sad she really was.

The night she and Alex shared in her room seemed like a distant memory. It hurt her to hear Alex tell her that she loved her, but yet she was with someone else, who wasn’t her. This was her reality at the moment and Kara had to get used to it. She plastered her smile as she walked down stairs to greet Eliza.

“Look at my darling girl, I can’t believe you are graduating already. It seems like only yesterday, Clark brought you to us. Now, you are standing here a high school graduate. We need to take a few pictures before we leave.” Eliza suggested.

After all the pictures were taken Eliza ushered Kara out of the house and towards the car. Kara breathed a huge sigh of relief, being around Alex right now with her girlfriend, was not good for her at all. It was official, Kara Danvers was now a high school graduate, and it was off to college for her. She talked to her friends and took pictures with them, before making plans to see them later on. Kara braved the crowds and made her way over to where her family was waiting.

Alex was the first one to hug her, “Congratulations, Kara.”

Kara exhaled sharply and allowed herself to relax into the hug, “Thanks. I’m a graduate now.”

Alex laughed, “No matter if you are a graduate and heading off to college, you will always be my little sister.”

Kara’s smile fell, “Yeah, that will never change.” She broke the hug and was enveloped in another hug by Eliza. Once the hug was over she was greeted by Laurel who decided against hugging her.

“Congratulations, Kara. How does it feel to be a high school graduate?” Laurel asked.

Kara shrugged, “It feels no different actually. I feel like this part of my life is over and a new journey begins.”

“That’s one way to look at it.” Laurel told her, “So, Alex told me that you will be going to National City University.” She tried to make conversation.

“That’s right, I wanted to go somewhere different. I can’t follow in my big sister’s foot prints and go to Stanford.” Kara joked, the words sounding hollow as she said them

Eliza chuckled, “No, you can’t. This is your journey and your time to shine. Let’s go home and celebrate, I’m pretty sure, you will be going out with your friends tonight.”

Kara nodded, “Yes, I promised Misha and Emily that I would come by theirs later.” Misha and Emily were her two best friends, they were fraternal twins, and Kara had loved them dearly. They befriended her the first time she attended middle school and their friendship extended to high school as well.

The graduation celebration turned out to be the family having dinner and Kara opening her gifts. Eliza got her a new laptop for her to take notes and to help her study. Alex gave her an iPod dock to put her phone on and listen to music at the same time, while it charged. Laurel, bless her heart, got her a gift card to Ikea so Kara could decorate her dorm room. It was a very thoughtful gift considering she did not really care for the girl, but she made Alex happy so she had to suck it up and deal with it.

“I really hate to leave you, but I promised Misha and Emily that I would be around theirs at seven. Thank you again for the lovely gifts.” Kara grabbed her gifts and took them upstairs to her room. She placed them on her desk and changed out of her dress into a pair of skinny jeans, and a plaid button down shirt. She finished off her outfit with a pair of black and white, high top Chuck Taylors.

After saying her goodbyes, she rushed out the door and made her way towards Misha and Emily’s. It was good to get away from Alex for a while. Kara hated how the butterflies would appear and her heart would speed up, every time Alex was near. She thought that Alex having a girlfriend would change how it felt, unfortunately it did not. Kara made it to Misha and Emily’s in no time and made her way up to the door. Before she could knock the door opened and she was pulled in by Mrs. Rodgriguez.

“Kara, mi’ja we were waiting for you.” Mrs. Rodriguez greeted her.

Kara smiled, “I would have been here sooner, but you know how mom is. Thank you for having me.”

“It’s my pleasure, everyone is in the back yard.” Mrs. Rodriguez pointed the way.

Kara gave her a smile and made her way through the kitchen towards the backyard. When she entered she saw tables full of food, a cake and all of Misha and Emily’s family. She loved their family to pieces, they were so welcoming and treated her like she was one of their own. Misha ran up to her.

“I was wondering if you were gonna come. Emily thought you were going to stay home because Alex was here visiting.” Misha told her.

Kara played with her glasses, “Yeah, not gonna happen, she brought her girlfriend Laurel with her. I swear she looks like a Barbie, without the big breasts.”

Misha laughed, “Will you ever approve of anyone that Alex dates?”

“Honestly, I don’t know.” Kara answered, she didn’t want to say ‘no’, but no one knew how she felt about Alex.

“I don’t think you will. No one will ever be good for your, Alex.” Misha stated.

Kara rolled her eyes, “She is not my, Alex.”

Misha chuckled, “Keep telling yourself that. Come on, Abuelita made those empanadas that you love so much.”

Kara spent the rest of the evening with Misha and Emily, not once did she ever think about Alex and Laurel. She enjoyed the food and the company as well, when the party was winding down, Mrs. Rodriguez gave her containers of food to take home. That is one thing Kara liked about the Rodriguez family, the welcome you and treat you like family, then send you home with a lot of food. Kara had to call Eliza to come and pick her up. She bid everyone good night and made her way towards the car. Kara opened the door and didn’t see Eliza, but Alex instead, she put the containers in the backseat and got into the car.”

“Did you have fun tonight?” Alex asked as soon as she got into the car.

“Yeah, I did. I always have fun with Misha and Emily.” Kara replied as she put on her seatbelt, “Where is Laurel? I kind of expected her to be here with you.” She tried not to sound bitter.

Alex sighed, “She is at home with mom. I volunteered to come and get you and give us some time together.”

Kara looked out the passenger side window, “How considerate of her. Allowing you to spend time with your sister.”

“What is with the attitude, Kara? I thought you liked Laurel.” Alex questioned clearly confused, they seemed to get along great.

Kara shrugged, “I don’t have an attitude, Alex and I like Laurel just fine. I don’t think she is your type unless you are into that now.”

Alex stopped the car and turned on the hazard lights, “It doesn’t sound like you like, Laurel. What has she done to you to make you not like her?”

Kara knew it was the moment of truth to tell Alex what she was feeling but she didn’t know how Alex would take it. Alex seemed to genuinely like Laurel and Kara did not want to ruin her relationship, because of her jealousy.

“She has you, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear? She has you in a way that I never will. I don’t like your girlfriend and I don’t think she is good enough for you.” Kara spat. “You told me you loved me, but yet, you’re with Laurel.”

Alex was taken aback by Kara’s admission, “Kara, I do love you, but you and I can’t be together like that. Mom will flip her shit for sure and I am with Laurel because she makes me happy. I am happy, Kara. The happiest I’ve ever been in a long time, when you find someone who makes you happy, you will understand”

Kara hated that word ‘understand’, “You’re right, Alex, I won’t understand. I can’t be around you right now it hurts too much. Take me home.”

The car started moving again and Kara made no move to talk to Alex on the ride back to the house. Once Alex pulled the car in the driveway, Kara grabbed the containers of food and got out of the car, slamming the car door. Kara put the food up and bid good night to Eliza and Laurel and headed upstairs. She changed into her pajamas and climbed into the bed, it was then she allowed the tears to fall. Her heart was breaking all over again and the person who could make it better, was not around to help.


	2. She's Like the Wind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This takes place two years after Girlfriend, Alex and Kara spent a night together. Alex has morning after panic and things between her and Kara are awkward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for taking interest in this little story.
> 
>  
> 
> This takes place around Alex's party girl phase

_I feel her breath in my face_

_Her body close to me_

_Can't look in her eyes_

_She's out of my league_

_Just a fool to believe_

_I have anything she needs_

_She's like the wind_

_She’s Like the Wind~ Patrick Swayze_

 

Alex didn’t know how it happened, but it did, and now there was no going back. It had been two years since the night of Kara’s graduation. She ended up ruining her relationship with, Laurel and landed herself in a self-destructive pattern. Alex turned to drinking and partying, to deal with her out of control life, and the feelings she had for Kara. Feelings that she buried a long time ago, because she was her sister, and nothing could come of it. Alex had known that Kara had always been in love with her, the night of her confession made it very real. She meant everything she said that night when she told Kara that she loved her like that, and the kiss they shared was full of love. Then she went away to college and met, Laurel and the rest are, what they say is history. Tonight though, after a night of partying and alcohol she now had Kara naked in her bed, sleeping. Alex could feel the breath on her shoulder and how warm, Kara’s body is. She’s always been like a furnace, whenever she needed warmth, Kara was there to provide her with it. Alex still couldn’t believe that she slept with Kara, it was fun for the moment, but now the guilt was setting in.

Kara had come over to visit, but Kara had caught her unawares, and after a small talk somehow they fell into bed. Alex didn’t plan on this happening but Kara admitting that she was still in love with her, and wanted to kiss her, changed everything. Alex had no idea that Kara had that much experience when it came to girls. She wasn’t dealing with someone in the minor leagues, Kara had gone pro and the number of orgasms she had was enough proof of that. This left Alex wondering if Kara had a girlfriend or if she had slept with anyone else before her. Alex got out of the bed and headed to the kitchen to grab her something to drink. Her head was pounding and her mouth was dry. Alex made sure that she didn’t make any noise as she made her way to the kitchen. Kara was a very heavy sleeper and could sleep through anything, but she still wanted to be courteous. After getting something to drink, Alex made her way to the bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror and shook her head, her life had become a mess and she brought Kara into her mess.

Once Alex was finished she washed her hands and exited the bathroom and went back into the bedroom, where she saw a half sleep Kara looking at her.

“Come back to bed, Alex,” Kara told her with a voice full of sleep.

Alex smiled at how adorable she was, “I’ll be right there.” She made her way to the bed and climbed in.

Kara snuggled into her and promptly fell back asleep, Alex wasn’t too far behind her. It was still surreal, but she could over think it in the morning. The morning dawned bright and early, the sun shining through the windows caused Alex to wake up, her head was hurting. She had the mother of all hangovers, and the sun shining through her windows did nothing to help her. Alex felt someone next to her and she turned to look and saw Kara still sleeping peacefully. Last night’s memories came rushing back to her, the drinking, going out to the club, telling Kara that she had always loved her and them pretty much fucking each other’s brains out. Alex stretched a little but her body disagreed she was deliciously sore in all the right place. She fell back onto the bed and watched, Kara as she slept. Kara looked a lot younger than her twenty-one years, and she looked so innocent. The guilt crept back in again, Kara was pure and so full of hope, but she corrupted her and brought her into her mess. Alex knew that they had to talk about what happened and set some boundaries, what happened last night, could not happen again.

“What time is it?” Kara asked closing her eyes against the sun.

Alex looked at the clock, “It’s 9:30 a.m. How did you sleep last night?” She tried to keep it normal.

Kara rubbed her eyes, “I slept pretty good. I think the workout I had last night helped with that.”

Alex sighed, “About that. I think we should talk about what happened last night. It was a mistake; it shouldn’t have happened.”

Kara frowned, “A mistake? Why would you call last night a mistake? We both wanted it, so how could it be a mistake, Alex?”

Alex knew that this was not going to be pretty, “I was pretty drunk last night, Kara. I wasn’t thinking straight. We’re sisters, we crossed a line, that shouldn’t have been crossed. I took advantage of you, Kara.” She got out of the bed and started pacing, Alex didn’t care that she was naked.

“You did not take advantage of me. I was more than a willing participant and unlike you, I didn’t wake up this morning with regrets. Do you know how long I’ve waited to be with you sexually?” Kara asked.

Alex could tell that Kara was trying not to get worked up, “It doesn’t matter, Kara. We can’t do this again.”

“Once again, you are making decisions for me and taking away my sense of agency. Don’t you think I have a say in this? What happened last night did not just affect you, it affects me too. I’m not going to let you run from this. We are going to deal with it. Last night, was not a mistake to me, it was something that I wanted. I’m sure the alcohol helped but we would have eventually slept together anyways.” Kara explained.

Alex sat back down on the bed and ran her fingers through her hair, “You do have a say Kara, but right now, you’re not thinking straight.” She would have laughed at her remark but couldn’t find herself to do so.

“I am thinking straighter than you. If you feel that this was a mistake, then that is on you. To me it wasn’t a mistake, it was something that I wanted and dreamed of. It happened and I’m glad it did, you’re older than I am, and I am handling this way better than you.” Kara got out of the bed and started gathering her clothes.

“Kara wait, don't leave like this.” Alex pleaded.

Kara threw her clothes on, “I don't want to talk about this right now, Alex. I don't want you to turn the best night of my life into some kind of taboo indiscretion. I am tired of you discounting my feelings or try to protect me.” She put her shoes on.

Alex watched helplessly as Kara finished dressing. This is not how she wanted the morning to start. She wanted them to have breakfast and to discuss the situation calmly and rationally. All that flew out the window when she opened her mouth. Alex fucks up everything that she touches.

“You can pretend like last night didn't happen and you can pretend that you didn't tell me, you loved me. And you can pretend that last night meant nothing to you, but for me, I will never forget.” Kara opened up the door and exited slamming the door shut behind her.

Alex flinched at the sound and stared at the door, “It did mean something to me.” She whispered to herself. So much for having a rational conversation. Alex got up and got dressed she did not bother changing the sheets on the bed. She needed something to drink and something to eat, to keep her mind off of Kara. It was hard when there were flashes of Kara kissing her, touching her, and making her feel good. Alex had never come like that before, a shiver ran down her spine as she thought about, how she held Kara down and ate her out, as if she was the last supper.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Alex screamed into her empty apartment. She needed to find a way to make it up to Kara and explain her thoughts.

_***_

It took two days for Alex to finally get in contact with, Kara. Two long days of agonizing over what she was going to say. The universe must have been looking out for her because Kara agreed to have dinner with her. Kara had been reluctant before, but after a little persuasion, she finally caved in. Alex spent the day cleaning up the apartment and running errands. She stopped by the grocery store to pick up the ingredients for tonight's meal, followed by a stop at the wine shop, to pick up a nice bottle of merlot. Alex went about making paella for dinner, she knew it was one of Kara’s favorite dishes. Dinner was done and all she needed was for Kara to arrive.

A little after six, there was a knock on the door and Alex went to open it, revealing Kara. Alex had to admit her sister looked good standing there in a yellow, knee length dress, accentuated with, a small brown belt. The dressed matched her sunny disposition and her personality.

“Are you going to stand there looking at me or are you going to let me in?” Kara asked.

Alex felt like an idiot, “Oh yes, come on in. I’m sorry.” She pulled the door back so Kara could enter.

Kara walked into the apartment, “So you mentioned that you wanted to talk.” She turned around and faced Alex.

“Yes, we left things in a bad spot, and I want to clear the air. I thought we could have dinner and talk things through.” Alex explained nervously.

“Okay, we’ll talk.” She put her purse down on the table.

Alex moved to the kitchen, “Go ahead and sit down. I’ll get dinner on the plates. I hope you brought your appetite.”

“I always bring my appetite. I think I surprise people at school with how much I can eat.” Kara started out.

Alex brought the plates to the table, “Well, it's not every day, you meet someone who can eat a lot.”

Kara chuckled, “That is true.”

They began to eat their food it was quiet and Alex did not know how to start the conversation. She started out with small talk before working her way up to the big topic, a topic that was a cause of contention, between the two of them.

“Kara, I want to apologize for what I said to you the other morning. It was rude and very insensitive of me. I was having a moment of panic and I handled it wrong. I dismissed your feelings, and for that I am sorry.” She decided to bite the bullet.

She could hear Kara sigh, “I forgive you, but don't think that I will let you dismiss my feelings again. You really hurt me, Alex, I thought we were on the same page, that you wanted me too.”

Alex reached for her glass, “I did want you, Kara. I wanted you for a long time, but you were untouchable. The night we spent together was the best night ever. Although I was a little inebriated, it was still a wonderful night.”

Kara fidgeted with her fork, “You were blitzed, Alex. I had qualms about it, but as you mentioned before, it would have happened eventually. What do you want, Alex? Let's cut the pretenses and be honest with me.”

Alex did not know what to say she had not thought about anything else. All she wanted to do was apologize and make things right with them. She did not know what she wanted, but she knew that not saying anything, would reflect badly.

“I do not want things to become weird between us, you are the most important person in my life. I can't lose you…I don't want to lose you, Kara. I’ve been in love with you for a long time and it scares me. I feel so much when I am around you and I can't deal. Mom’s voice is in my head telling me you are my sister. I have to look out for you and protect you. She got mad at me for your lack of dating.” Alex explained as best as she could.

“Things are already weird with us, they’ve always been, Alex. You may have been in love with me and you knew that I was in love with you, but yet, you dismissed me. You had Laurel, then you had that relationship with that one chick, and then there was Vickie. How did you think I felt, watching the woman I love, be with other people? You need to stop using Eliza as an excuse, it's getting old.” Kara took a sip of her wine.

Alex ran her hand through her hair, Kara had her there, “It was a confusing time for me. I was still trying to figure out who Alex was. And all those girls I dated, were there to help me, get over my feelings for you. I was selfish and did not think about you and the guilt eats me up. You are too pure and precious to get tangled up with me. Mom would have my head if she found out.”

Kara pushed her chair back from the table, “Have you figured out who you are yet? Did you figure out what Alex wants? Are you going to live in fear of your mother's opinions? We could be happy together.”

Alex was growing frustrated, “I have not figured it out. I am still trying to figure everything out. Kara, you know how hard mom is on me, she puts a lot of responsibility on me, because of you. You saw how hard she was on me after dad died. You were the wonder child who fell from the stars, while I was treated as the disappointment. Mom would accuse me of corrupting you.” She tried to explain her thoughts.

Kara was growing tired of this conversation, “Figure yourself out, Alex. I am going to give you time and space to decide what you want. If Eliza’s opinions matter that much to you, then I don't know what to tell you. We both love each other and we could be great together. You and I could balance each other out, we always do. If you want to be my sister only, then we can just be sisters. I don't want to pressure you. I draw the line though, we can't sleep with each other again.”

Alex breathed a sigh of relief, “We are sisters and we will not sleep with each other, again.” The words tasted like acid in her mouth. She wanted to be something more, than just sisters, but right now they can't.

Kara's phone chimed, “I hate to cut our night short, but I have an emergency with my group project.” She got up and went over to Alex, “I’m really sorry. Rain check?” She asked with a hopeful tone.

Alex plastered on a fake smile, “I’ll hold you to it.”

Kara kissed her cheek and rushed out a quick I love you’ before leaving. Alex sighed heavily and put her head in her hands. “I love you too, Kara.” Watching Kara leave was the hardest thing, at least this time, it wasn't out of anger. Alex got up and started clearing the dishes away. She made up her mind to go out and party, it was better than sitting around, feeling sorry for herself.

 

 


	3. Lips Of An Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another two years have gone by and Kara is in a new relationship and Alex is now dating Maggie Sawyer. They meet again when having dinner with their mother. Alex learns that Karma is a huge bitch and Kara finally snaps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to those who have read and commented on this story. I don't have a regular posting schedule, I will update this when I get the inspiration. So, inspiration hit and here is the next installment.
> 
>  
> 
> Song used is 'Lips of An Angel' by Hinder. You can listen to the song while reading this chapter, to get a feel of the glorious angst in this chapter.
> 
> Onward...

_It's really good to hear your voice saying my name_ __  
It sounds so sweet  
Coming from the lips of an angel  
Hearing those words - it makes me weak  
And I never wanna say goodbye  
But, girl, you make it hard to be faithful  
With the lips of an angel

_~Lips of An Angel~ Hinder_

 

After the discussion in Alex’s apartment, Kara knew that Alex would never give her any more, then what she was giving before. Kara decided that it was time to move on, and find someone else who could give Kara what she wants and needs. To be the first choice and not a consolation prize, she deserved more and no longer wanted to be a dirty little secret. She had too much self-respect for herself. Alex had tried to reach out to her on more than one occasion, but Kara ignored her, the way she had ignored her. It may be childish, but Kara wanted Alex to have a taste of her own medicine.

Kara started dating Lucy Lane, the sister of Lois Lane, the better Lane if you were to ask her. It started as a simple friendship, but the friendship blossomed into love. To say Kara was smitten was an understatement. She was absolutely head over heels in love with Lucy and the feeling was the same. With Lucy, she could be out and proud, Eliza knew about her relationship and was happy for her. It took Lucy’s dad a while to come around, but eventually did and embraced her with open arms. Tonight was the night Lucy was having dinner with Eliza and Alex, Kara was a little nervous because she would be seeing her after two years. Eliza told her it had something to do with her getting her Ph.D. and working in the lab, that she’s been very busy. Kara didn’t stop living her life and she is enjoying every minute of it.

“Babe, what time are we leaving to meet your mom?” Lucy called from the bedroom.

“We are supposed to meet her in five minutes? What’s up?” Kara asked.

Lucy came out of the room wearing black dress pants, a button-down pin stripe shirt, and a black pin stripe tie. Kara couldn’t help but stare, her girlfriend looked hot as fuck.

“I was just wondering. See something you like, Danvers?” Lucy smirked.

Kara shook her head, “I definitely do. Let’s go meet my mom before I decide to cancel our plans.”

“Let’s go then. I’m a little nervous about meeting your sister though, from the way your mom talked about her, she seems like a bad ass.” Lucy admitted.

Kara had to admit that her sister was a nerdy badass, “You’ll be fine. I’m sure she will love you, if not, then I have ways of making her love you.”

“I hope so.”

Kara kissed her cheek, “I know so.”

The drive to the restaurant did not take long at all. Kara escorted Lucy into the restaurant and waved at her mom, who was standing by the hostess podium waiting for them.

“Hey, sweetheart.” She hugged her daughter and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

Kara blushed, “Hi, mom. Is Alex here yet?”

Eliza shook her head, “No, not yet.” She looked over at Lucy and pulled her into a hug, “It’s good to see you, Lucy.”

Lucy returned the hug, “It’s good to see you too, Eliza. It’s been too long.”

“I agree that it has.” She broke the hug and Lucy went to go stand beside Kara.

A few minutes later Alex arrived and it seemed that she was not alone. Kara noticed that she was with a brunette woman, who was a little shorter than Alex, and a dimpled smile. Kara tried not to let her emotions get to her, it’s been two years, she was so over it.

“Hi, mom.” Alex greeted their mother.

Eliza smiled, “Hi honey, hi Maggie.”

Maggie smiled, “Hi, Eliza it’s good to see you again.”

Kara sent a look over in Alex’s direction and received a small smile and a shoulder shrug. Tonight was going to be a wonderful evening.

“Maggie, this is Kara.” Alex introduced them.

Maggie gave Kara a huge smile, “It’s finally nice to meet you, Kara. Alex had told me so many things about you.”

Kara smiled politely, “That’s strange because she hasn’t mentioned anything about you.” She grabbed Lucy’s hand, “This is my girlfriend, Lucy. Lucy, this is my sister Alex and her girlfriend Maggie.”

Lucy reached out to shake Alex’s hand, “It’s nice to finally meet you, Alex. Kara has told me so much about you.”

Alex’s handshake was firm, “I have heard such wonderful things about you from my mother. It’s nice to meet you as well.”

Kara watched as Lucy and Maggie exchanged pleasantries before they were all seated at their table. Kara was happy that she had Lucy on her right and her mother to her left, but that meant she was sitting directly across from Alex. She tried to look anywhere else but at her sister, but it was hard.

The conversation was a little fragmented with Eliza and Lucy doing most of the talking. Kara chimed in with a word or two, but other than that, it was mostly Eliza and Lucy talking to each other. The waitress came over and took their orders it was a great distraction for the whole table. Once the orders were taken, silence had fallen over the table.

“So, Alex. Kara tells me that you are getting your Ph.D. What are you studying?” Lucy asked.

Alex cleared her throat, “I am getting my degree in Bio-Engineering. I am following in my parent’s footsteps. What about you? Are you studying anything in particular?”

“Actually, I just graduated from M.I.T and I am now working on my Juris Doctorate,” Lucy told her.

“So you’re going to be a lawyer?” Maggie asked.

Lucy nodded, “Yeah, I am. My dad wanted me to join the military, but like Lois, I wanted to make my own path. What about you, Maggie?”

“I’m a detective for NCPD Science Division. You’re in school yourself, aren’t you, Kara? What are you studying?” Maggie asked.

Kara tried not to roll her eyes, “Chemical biology. I wanted to do something beneficial and will help the world.” She stated proudly.

“I’m so proud of her. Anyone would be lucky to have her as a girlfriend.” Lucy placed her hand on Kara’s arm.

Kara blushed, “Stop you’re embarrassing me.”

Lucy continued, “It’s true. I would want the whole world to know, that my girlfriend is awesome.”

Kara knew what Lucy was doing and she couldn’t help but laugh internally. Her girlfriend was going to give Alex hell for the way she treated her. Kara couldn’t find herself caring at this moment in time.

“It’s good to let others know that your girlfriend is awesome, but you don’t want to become over the top with it. To others around it may not sound believable.” Alex replied.

Lucy smirked, “It may not sound believable to others, but I know the truth. I would never make Kara a dirty little secret. Everyone deserves to know how lucky I am to have her.”

“Excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom,” Kara explained as she got up.

Maggie stood up too, “I’ll go with you.”

Kara wanted to object but decided not to, it would have made the dinner more awkward than it already was. She honestly did not know that the evening would turn into a pissing contest between Alex and Lucy. Kara entered the bathroom and was thankful for the reprieve, that was until Maggie made her way into the bathroom.

“I really didn’t have to go to the bathroom, but I needed to get away from the table. For what it’s worth, Kara, Alex really does love you. I don’t know what happened between the two of you, but whatever it was, hurt her pretty badly.” Maggie started the conversation.

Kara sighed, “Nothing happened between the two of us. We had a falling out like sisters normally do. If she really loved me, then she would have fought for me, but I guess I wasn’t enough to fight for. You’re lucky to have her, just treat her well, alright?” She washed her hands and left the bathroom.

The rest of the night was filled with awkward conversation and politeness. Kara tried her best to ignore Lucy and Alex trying to one-up each other. It did make Kara happy to see Alex jealous, it was good that she was getting the taste of her own medicine. It served her right for jerking her around the way that she did. She did send a sympathetic smile in Maggie’s direction, Kara couldn’t bring herself to hate the other woman, in all actuality she felt sorry for her. It must be hard to be with someone who is in love with someone else. As the dinner went on Kara found out that Maggie was funny and sassy as fuck. She couldn’t help but find herself liking her, if she made Alex happy, then that is all that mattered.

Dinner was over and everyone parted and went their separate ways. Eliza made plans to have lunch with Kara and Alex the next day. The ride home was made in relative silence, Kara thought about the night, and how Alex was acting like the scorned lover. She pushed her out of her mind and focused on Lucy. The couple arrived home and after watching a little television before heading to bed. After a few rounds of love making, they had fallen asleep, but Kara was woken up by the sound of her phone ringing.

“Hello?” She whispered into the phone. She looked over to see Lucy still sleeping.

“Did I catch you at a bad time?” Alex asked.

Kara sighed and got out of the bed, “Why are you calling me so late?”

“I wanted to apologize for tonight. I was out of line for the way I was acting with Lucy.” Alex apologized.

“It’s a little late for that, Alex. Does Maggie know you’re calling me?” She asked.

“Maggie is in the room sleep. Where is Lucy?”

Kara sat down on the couch, “Lucy is in the room sleeping. I know you didn’t call to only apologize. What do you want, Alex?”

Alex’s breath hitched in her throat, “I made a mistake with you, Kara. I should have fought harder for you. I should have treated you better…I regret it every single time. We could have been happy together.”

Kara ran her fingers through her hair, “Could’ve, should’ve, would’ve, but you didn’t. Alex, it’s been two freaking years, and you can’t come back into my life. We’ve both moved on, we cannot go back. Don’t do this to Maggie, she does not deserve it.”

“Are you going to tell me that you never thought about, what it would be like if we were together?” Alex asked.

“I thought about it in the past, but this is the present, there is a huge difference. I love you, Alex but not enough to screw up my relationship. You don’t want me, you only want me now because I am taken, and I’m happy. You had every chance but you didn’t take them. I am your sister, and that is all I can ever be.” Kara told her, “I need to go back to bed before Lucy knows that I am gone. Good night, Alex.”

Kara hung up the phone and climbed back into bed. She made sure not to wale Lucy, as she got comfortable. Kara tried not to think about, Alex as she drifted off to sleep.

***

Alex knew calling Kara would be a bad idea, but seeing her tonight after two years brought so many feelings. Kara had always been beautiful, but tonight she was glowing. She was happy with Lucy and Alex imagined what it was like to be that happy with, Kara. Alex loved Maggie, but her heart loves Kara too. If she would have been able to get over her mom drilling into her about Kara being her sister, they could’ve been happy. A part of her hated her mother for doing that but she played a part in it too. Alex gave up her thoughts and went back to bed.

A few days went by and she and Kara started exchanging the occasional text message, and phone calls here and there. Alex felt guilty but she was doing nothing wrong, the texts never cross a line, and the phone calls are short. There are times when she is with Maggie, she thinks about Kara and how it would be with her. When she and Maggie are having sex, she finds herself thinking about, Kara. It was wrong on so many levels but she couldn't help herself.

“Hey, Danvers, where were you a few minutes ago? You’ve been ignoring me for the last five minutes.” Maggie asked.

Alex shook her head, “Sorry, I was thinking about something that happened at work today.” She explained.

Maggie sighed, “Does this have to do with the mutating alien, that tried to rob the bank?”

“Yeah, I did research on its DNA but it's hard. I’m sorry, Maggie.” She apologized.

Alex didn't lie but she also couldn't tell her girlfriend that the is thinking about her sister, in a non-familial way.

“I am sure you will figure it out, you are smart like that. So when are you going to tell, Kara the truth?” Maggie asked.

Alex looked like a deer caught in headlights, “The truth about?”

Maggie sipped her beer, “About you working for the DEO? She is going to figure it out eventually.”

“I can't, not right now. She wouldn't understand how I am doing this for her, to protect her.” Alex explained.

Alex’s phone chimed and she unlocked it noticing a text from Kara. She sent a quick text back and put her phone on the table.

“Who was that?” Maggie asked.

“It was, Kara. She wanted to let me know that she made it home okay.” The answer was out of her mouth before she could take it back.

“Kara? You two seem to be getting close again. Should I be worried?” The detective asked.

Alex gave her a reassuring smile, “No. Lucy is away for two weeks and she asked me to check in on Kara. I’m her big sister after all.”

Over time the texts came more frequent and so did the phone calls. It was wrong but it felt so right. They skirted the line a time or two but neither one of them had been able to cross it. One night she and Maggie got into a big argument about Kara, and Alex left to cool off. She found herself at Kara’s apartment. Kara had let her in and they had coffee and talked.

“It’s hard, Kara. Everything that I have with, Maggie, I want to have with you. It’s selfish but the heart wants what it wants.” Alex confessed.

Kara shook her head, “No! You don't get to do this, Alex. I am with Lucy and we are happy.”

“Are you sure about that, Kara? Your texts and phone calls say differently. If you were so happy with Lucy, then you wouldn't tell me how much you love and miss me.” Alex told her.

Kara got up, “I do love you, Alex and I do miss you, but as my sister. You made it clear that is all we will ever be.”

“I made a mistake and I realize that. Do you know how hard it is to be this close to you and not touch you? How jealous I get, when I see you and Lucy together? That should be me and you, not you and Lucy or me and Maggie.” She couldn't hold back anymore.

Kara huffed, “Are you hearing yourself right now? All you care about is you. What you feel or what you want. What about me? What about how I feel or what I want? You are always taking from me, but never give back.” She all but yelled.

Alex felt like she’s been punched in the gut, “You have never told me what you wanted. I’ve asked, but you did not give me an answer.”

Kara started pacing, “Oh no, we are not playing that game. I told you what I wanted, but you couldn't give it to me. I have someone who can and I am not going to throw it all away because you are unsure.”

Alex got up and stood in front of Kara, “You’re right, I couldn't, but now, I know I can.”

Kara looked away, “No you can't, Alex. I am with Lucy and you are with Maggie, who I actually like. I can't and won't do this to them or myself.”

Alex didn't know what to do her heart was breaking. She finally pushed Kara over the edge and she lost her. She had no one else to blame but herself and no one else. Had she become so selfish that she did not care what Kara wanted or needed?

“I’m sorry, Kara. I never wanted to put you into an impossible position. I’m gonna go.” Alex apologized and made her way to the door, “I think Maggie should be calm by now.”

Kara watched her go, “You never told me what your fight was about.”

Alex sighed, “You, Kara. It's always about you.” She opened the door and left, trying her hardest not to look back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kara is finally happy and she is not giving into Alex's feelings or whatever it is that she is doing.
> 
> Next chapter is titled 'What Hurts the Most' by Rascal Flats, it's going to be angsty, kinda, sorta.


	4. What Hurts the Most

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara tells Alex how she feels. Alex does not respond in a positive way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had mentioned that I will update this story when inspiration would hit. Inspiration hit and I am now updating this story.
> 
> You are some very astute readers in figuring out that this story is connected to 'The Journey of Us'. I wrote it in a way that it doesn't fit any particular timeline in the story, it stands alone, but a few chapters will be connected to the main story itself, again it is not important that you read the second story. These are simply one-shots telling another story.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who reads, comments, and left kudos for this story. It means a lot to me, that you are giving this little ditty a chance.
> 
> This story was written in 30 mins and I went over it to try and catch any grammatical errors. If there are any point me to them, so I can correct them.
> 
> Having said all that, on to the story

_What hurts the most was being so close_ __  
And havin' so much to say  
And watchin' you walk away  
And never knowin' what could've been  
And not seein' that lovin' you  
Is what I was trying to do

_What Hurts the Most ~Rascal Flatts_

 

Alex thought back to the argument she had at Kara’s apartment. It was two years ago, but it still felt like it was yesterday. She knew it was unfair to put everything on Kara at that moment, especially, when she was in a relationship with Lucy. It had hurt her that Kara had moved on, but she couldn’t blame anyone but herself. Maggie was a good fit for her and she made her feel like she could be herself. Maggie was easy, there was not any stigma attached to their relationship, there was no need for their relationship to be a secret. A part of her still missed Kara though, her alien ray of sunshine, the one who had so much faith in her. They had somewhat of a civil relationship, but it seemed as if, she had been replaced with Maggie.

Alex was not expecting Maggie and Kara to hit it off so well, they had a lot in common, and had a stubborn streak a mile wide. It surprised her more when Maggie asked Kara to be her bridesmaid. Kara accepted happily of course, and they were thick as thieves. Alex was happy about it, but also a little disappointed because it could have been the two of them. Now seeing Kara in a beautiful blue dress, talking to Lucy, Winn, and James, made her heart hurt. The smile that she usually reserved for her, is not given freely to Lucy. Tonight though, Kara was not smiling, if anything she looked sad. Alex watched as Lucy was hugging her close, she couldn’t help but feel jealous, at how close they were. They were dating, yes but she did not want to see the PDA, especially on her wedding day.

“Is Kara okay?” Maggie asked.

Alex took a sip of her champagne, “I think so. Why do you ask?”

“For starters, she spent the whole entire time with Lucy, James, and Winn. I tried to talk to her, but it was only short answers. And now, it looks like she’s been crying. Do you not pay attention to Kara? There was a time when you were hyper-aware of her.” Maggie explained.

Alex put her glass down on the bar, “Kara has been distant with me. Lucy is her girlfriend; I am her sister. She is no longer my responsibility. If you want me to check on her, then I will.”

Maggie gave her a dimpled smile, “Please do. I don’t want my sister-in-law to feel sad.”

Alex kissed Maggie’s cheek, “Yes, dear.” She gave her a smile and made her way over to Lucy and Kara.

“Is everything okay? Kara are you alright?” She asked.

Kara wiped her eyes, “Yeah, I’m fine. I just realized some things and Lucy was here helping me through them.”

Alex looked at Lucy, “Is that what happened, Lucy?”

 

Lucy nodded her head, “Yeah, Kara had an epiphany and it overwhelmed her, but she is okay now. I think I’m going to take her home.”

Alex was not convinced, “Let me talk to her first and then you can take her home.”

“I don’t want to talk to you about it. I will handle it on my own like I was taught to do.” Kara explained.

“Kara, you know you could talk to me if anything was bothering you, you know I will help in any way that I can.” Alex tried to reassure her.

Kara shook her head, “You can’t help me with this. I’ll eventually get over it and I will never have to deal with it again.”

Alex turned to Lucy, “Could you give us a few minutes alone, Lucy?”

Lucy looked between the two, “Yeah, of course. I’m going to get James and Winn together so we can go.”

After Lucy left, Alex led Kara to the guest room and closed the door behind them. Alex used that moment to take in how beautiful her sister looked, in a light blue dress, that complimented her eyes. Her sister was a true beauty, a beauty that could make Aphrodite herself jealous.

“Kara? Talk to me what is going on?” She wanted to focus on the issue and not how she wanted to push Kara down on the bed and kiss her senseless.

“There is nothing to talk about, Alex. Why can’t you let this go? You can’t help me with this, no one can.” Kara tried to explain.

Alex approached her sister and grabbed her by the arms, “You’re my sister, Kara and no matter how old you get, I will still look out for you. Now tell me what is wrong? You were fine, earlier tonight, what happened between then and now?”

Alex watched as Kara stepped away and sat on the bed. She took this as her cue to sit down on the bed next to her, leaving a little distance between the two.

“I’m in love with you, Alex. I’ve been in love with you since I was fifteen years old.” Kara rushed out.

Alex felt like the air had been knocked out of her, Kara had been in love with her for as long as she had been in love with, Kara. This made her heart flutter but she knew that it was too late, she was marrying Maggie, she was in love with Maggie and there was no way she was going to break her heart.

“Why didn’t you tell me this then? You had every opportunity to tell me and you didn’t. Why wait until the night of my engagement to say something?” Alex didn’t mean to get angry but it was easier than giving in to her feelings.

Kara sighed, “You hated me when we were younger. I was always a burden to you, at least that is what you told your friends. I was new to this world and you, you were there for me. You showed me how to be a normal teenager. Well as normal as I could be, Eliza kept calling us sisters, but what I felt for you was more than sisterly.”

Alex listened intently as she heard her sister spill out all of her feelings and emotions in regards to her. Alex had waited for years to hear these exact words out of Kara’s mouth, they were like a balm to her heart. To know that Kara felt the same way about her, that she did about, Kara but it couldn’t come at the worst time.

“I’m flattered that you feel that way about me, Kara but I don’t feel that way about you. I’m in love with Maggie and we’re sisters. It’s not natural for us to feel that way about each other. Maybe you should keep your distance until you can get over what you’re feeling. Why did you wait til tonight to tell me? It’s not like I was going to call off my engagement to Maggie, to give into your feelings.” Alex explained.

Kara frowned, “I don’t want you to call off your engagement to Maggie. I was just being honest with myself, and you. I’m sorry I can’t help the way that I feel, it’s not like I can turn my feelings off and on. We’re not sisters Alex, we don’t share blood, I’m not even from earth I come from Krypton and was raised in Themyscira before, I was even brought to your family.”

Alex understood where Kara was coming from she didn’t turn her feelings off, she just buried them deep inside. To see her sister breaking apart in front of her broke her heart even more but she couldn’t give in, not now, not when she was getting married in nine months.

“You’re going to have to try and get over your feelings. What you’re feeling is wrong and immoral, I think you should leave. I don’t want to talk to you, for the time being, sort yourself out, and find your own happiness. I’ve given up my happiness for you for far too long, and I am not about to give it up for you now. I’m sorry, Kara but I don’t love you and I will never be in love with you.” The words burned her throat as they came spilling forth. She couldn’t stop herself from doing it though and seeing the heartbroken look on Kara’s face only made her feel guiltier.

Kara gasped in shock, “You didn’t have to be so cruel about it. I thought I would tell you, to be honest with myself and you. If you think I did this to take away your happiness, then you are wrong. I will respect your wishes and leave you alone. Congratulations on your engagement, Maggie would make a beautiful bride.”

Alex watched as Kara brushed past her and walked out of the room, and eventually out of her life. She regretted her words but she didn’t know how to handle what Kara was telling her. Alex had waited for years to have Kara tell her that she felt the same way she did, but it came at the wrong time. Alex fixed herself and followed behind Kara she looked around the room and noticed that Kara, Lucy, James, and Winn were gone. Alex sighed and made her way over to where Maggie was talking to her mom. She slipped an arm around her waist as a way to forget about the conversation she had with, Kara.

_***_

The party was over and in the still of the night, Alex allowed her thoughts to run away with her. She thought about how Kara confessed her love for her and how broken she looked when she told her that she didn’t feel the same. It was a complete and total lie; it took everything within her to not tell Kara how she really felt. She did not want to break Kara’s heart, but she knew that she couldn’t say anything. This reminded her of the time, when she was in Kara’s apartment, offering her everything she wanted, but Kara was with Lucy and was not about to give that up. Now, she was with Maggie and she was not going to mess that up, she fell in love with Maggie and promised that she would love her faithfully.

It hurt Alex to see Kara walk away, but she needed to focus on Maggie, the woman that she could have and did have. What Alex really wanted to do was take Kara in her arms and kiss her, tell her that she felt the same. A part of her wanted to call off the wedding and go after, Kara but she knew it would break Kara’s heart, and that her mom would be disappointed in her. She thought back over the conversation she had with Maggie tonight when she joined her and her mother mid conversation.

“Where is Kara, Lucy, James, and Winn? They left without saying good-bye.” Maggie asked as soon as Alex approached.

Alex shrugged, “Kara wasn’t feeling well and they decided to leave early. You know how they are, wherever Kara goes, they go.” She forced a laugh.

“I hope she didn’t come down with anything serious. I will have to check on her later after the party.” Eliza stated.

Alex chuckled wryly, “I think she would like that.”

“Excuse us for a moment, I need to talk to Alex about something,” Maggie spoke up.

Eliza smiled, “Of course.” She walked away leaving the couple alone.

Maggie turned to face Alex all traces of her smile gone, “What really happened with, Kara? I saw you two leave the room. I saw her leaving here crying.”

Alex sighed, “Kara was telling me about her and Lucy. They are having a few issues and she needed to talk to me.” She explained.

Maggie was not convinced, “Her storming out with said girlfriend, she is having issues with, does not translate to her looking like someone kicked her puppy. Now, are you going to quit lying to me and tell me the truth.” She asked pointedly.

Alex knew Maggie was not going to let this go, “Kara confessed something to me. I told her she needs to let it go and to focus on her relationship with Lucy.”

Maggie seemed satisfied with this answer, “I hope she doesn’t mess it up with, Lucy. They seem so happy together. I thought she would have been with Sara, but I like Lucy.”

“I like Lucy too, but Sara would have definitely been a better choice, but Kara is happy. That is all that matters.”

Alex sighed softly thinking about the conversation, she honestly hated lying to Maggie, but she could not tell Maggie the truth either. Sleep was not her friend tonight, all she kept thinking about was Kara. Alex felt like she was living a huge lie, but there was nothing she could do to change it. Realizing that sleep was not going to come easy, Alex slipped out of bed, grabbed her phone and went to the living room. A part of her was tempted to call Kara to see how she was doing but another part protested. What would they have to talk about? What could she say? That she lied to Kara about how she felt. That she did love her and if it wasn’t for Maggie, that she would be with her. It’s not that easy, Alex is getting ready to pledge her undying love to Maggie, they were building a future together. It was a future that she always imagined with Kara, but because of the all the shit she put her through, that future was not for them.

Alex picked up her phone and sent out a quick text to Kara. It took a while for her to get a text back, but when she did, Alex’s heart sped up.

_Sunny D: What do you want Alex? It’s late. delivered@ 1:15 a.m._

_Alex: I wanted to see how you were doing…delivered@ 1:20 a.m._

_Sunny D: Let’s see, I spilled my guts today and was rejected. How do you think I feel? delivered@ 1:22 a.m._

Alex knew she deserved that response and thought about not replying, but she didn’t want to hurt Kara, more than she already had.

_Alex: I’m sorry, Kara. I wish we could sit down and talk about it. delivered@ 1:25 a.m_

_Sunny D: there is nothing to talk about. I made a fool of myself…good night, Alex. delivered@ 1:30 a.m._

Alex sighed and went back to bed, it was obvious that the conversation was over. She went into the bedroom and saw that Maggie was still sleeping. Alex slipped into the bed, but not before placing her phone on the night table. With a small sigh, she snuggled behind Maggie and put her arm around her before drifting off to sleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's angsty. I am sorry for that but I am in an angsty type mood right now. So there will be angst. I will eventually throw in some fluff but for now, it's angst.
> 
> Also, there is a thing called constructive criticism, which I can take. But being harsh and cruel in your comments does not make a writer feel better. Think twice before leaving a downright mean comment. The person writing the story has feelings too and if you don't like the story or characterization, simply do not read it. No one is forcing you to.
> 
> As always, let me know what you think....

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think!


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